When the Fates Don't Allow
Christmas is my favorite. I love the traditions, the joy, the movies & the songs....
“Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on your troubles will be out of sight”
Hearts seem a little fuller, a bit cheerier, more magical....until, well....until your heart feels....void, like it's missing the warm fuzzy feeling everyone else appears to hold.
“Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
So hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now”
A small ache stings in my heart each time I hear those words....
“Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow”
but sometimes friend...the fates don't allow...the Lord doesn't allow.
Christmas comes and homes are quieter....stockings meant for loved ones are left empty....good memories strike tears of pain...
My heart is stamped with...
the sound of frustration, followed by deep, aching sadness in my mom's voice as we decorated the tree the first year my mom spent the holidays without her own dear sweet mama,
the pain in my brave sister's big brown eyes the Christmas her beautiful, perfect baby spent his first Christmas in heaven,
the empty seat, the good memories that stung & the looming air of "different" the Christmas after my dad was on earth no longer...
Maybe this is you this Christmas, your heart is anything but light......
your dreams came to a chilling halt,
the tiny eggs didn't hatch,
... the Lord didn't allow.
Friend if this is you,
you are not alone.
This Christmas is going to be different & it's likely to hurt.
Feel all those feels of sorrow & pain.....along with the fleeting moments of happiness, embrace those moments too.
Most importantly, seek Jesus...in all your broken sorrow...
seek Jesus, even when it's hard...
*Especially when it's hard*
There with Jesus, you don't have to pretend to be full of cheer or overcome with with warm, fuzzy feelings; you can be honest. Call out to Jesus in your hurt. Let Jesus wrap you with a blanket of peace....isn't that what Christmas is about anyway? A baby who came to a pained world to wrap it in peace, hope & grace.
I'm praying for you this Christmas my hurting friend. If you would like me to pray for you by name, please email or leave me a name in the comments & I will speak to Jesus with your name in my heart & on my lips throughout this season.
*share if you know someone who needs to hear they are not alone in their pain this season*